Impending disaster

So I’m 28 and still deal with being bullied. I’ve been bullied all my life. Nursery, primary school, secondary school, in quite a few jobs and also in a relationship that has ruined my faith in men but hey ho that’s for another day.

My friend is returning from 2yrs of travelling. I’ve known her since I was 2 and she’s one of my closest friends. I’m excited to go for drinks at the weekend but I’m afraid of seeing 2 girls. A 30yr old and a 40yr old. I shouldn’t be worried or scared but I am and it angers me so much that people can make me feel like this. It’s mainly been verbal abuse I’ve relieved from them but the older of the two can get quite nasty when she’s had a drink. Typical British ladette.

I’m going to see my friend regardless but I know I’ll be popping propranolol for the next couple days in the lead up to the impending “night out”.

I’m hoping one day that the bullying will stop but I’ve always been told I have an attitude problem and bring it on myself which doesn’t exactly make me feel any better. My problem …… I have a tendency to throw “hackey” looks at people without realising, basically looking at people in disgust. Sometimes I don’t realise I do it. Fingers crossed I don’t do it this weekend or maybe waking up with a black eye on Sunday.

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